Your personal development starts from your family code

Every human being has to develop a personality first to in order to take his place in life.

Your personal development is therefore of course very important. Many books have been written on this issue, merely in the field of education and psychology. At the moment that you start to say ‘I’ as a little child, your personal development begins. Your parents play a major role in this, but also you school, your friends, your studies, your teachers, your employers, your colleagues, your partner. The power source of your personality is marked by your blood genes, a mark that we may call the family-code.

A well-developed personality is a wonderful basis in life. When you feel good, life is a hitch going and you will find little reason to put yourself all sorts of questions. This will be the case when life becomes painful and when you will have to say goodbye to persons or to situations.

A period of an intensified letting go and having to say goodbye and having to make new choices marks an important crossroads in your life. A crossroads where your essential development starts. Usually this begins in your mid-life. But it may also start earlier, in your thirties, or with some people later in their fifties or even sixties. What does this crossroads mean?

Your personality is inclined to adapt to your life circumstances. Precisely because you have never been acknowledged in your essence as a child, you started to look for ways to get love, attention and acknowledgement. That brought ways of adaptation and survival into your life. From your personality you are inclined to mirror yourself from your surroundings. Therefore a fear may arise how others will think about you and you follow the patterns and codes of the outside world that indicate in what ways you ought to be happy and satisfied. Maybe you never wondered whether you are indeed happy and satisfied with everything that surrounds you. Then at a certain moment you will consider the extent in which you have adapted yourself. And perhaps you will start to realize that there are important parts of your life that you have built up from adaptation. You can now clearly distinguish between the parts of adaptation and the parts of your life that really emerged from your authentic self.

Your essential development starts from your cosmic code

Questions like these arise when you begin your essential development. So this is the crossroads when you come into a period in which you clearly have to make important choices. These choices are for the benefit of your essential self. Either you make these choices yourself or life puts you into a position that you are forced to make a choice. Why? Because certain circumstances do no longer beat with who you are in essence.

When you have to make choiches it is important how you deal with that. Some people think they are ungrateful or alienated and fear that it is selfish when they choose for themselves. They find themselves in some sort of balancing act between themselves and the needs of their surroundings. A feeling of discomfort, not being happy and not being able to experience joy can even lead to despair. That can make them think that it is time to see a therapist. But what it is really about is that you start to create new space in your life that fits with who you are in essence. Not only will this make you happier, but also your surroundings. So you are not selfish or ungrateful, it is an inescapable part of your own development.

The first part of your life is marked by your personal development and linked to your familiy cod.e The second part of your life is marked by your essential development and linked to your cosmic code. The crossroads is usually a period of letting go. It is important that you do not make complains but that you stay relaxed and embrace this new period in your life.